My Life . My Story . My Songs

人生

2010-12-27T10:02:00.002+08:00

生命的脆弱让人不知如何是好。今年我过得很充实，日子过的多姿多彩。在我很享受我的人生的时候，我的一位同事朋友病了。一个健健康康三十几岁的人一日一日的退化让身边的同事们看了都心疼。到了天堂是解脱。朋友，一路好走。。。。。

living my little dream

2010-10-21T10:54:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I sent an email to Frasers, trying to find out to what exorbitant extent the retail rental prices are here. When they asked me for current store design and photos and I told them I have none but that they can take a look at my website to get a feel of what I do. Another colleague from Frasers sent me an email, indicating interest in ordering from me.

I'm humbled by this unexpected gesture from the folks at Frasers. While there has been no followup on the leasing, I don't mind an order or two between now and then. Oh. I love love LOVE my life.

my name

2010-05-05T10:32:00.002+08:00

Two of my friends call me Pillay, and another group of friends call me Plink which is derived from repeatedly saying Pei Lin Pei Lin Pilin Pilin Plink Plink.

2010-04-30T10:53:00.002+08:00

Food is like art. Its beauty is subjective. The feedback I have gathered thus far helped define my target market in a big way!

2010-04-06T11:32:00.003+08:00

It's funny how people start questioning with a degree of doubt what your race, religion and even ethnic group when you abstain from pork. But no one seem to be as sensitive when others abstain from, say, seafood. What's up with these peeps?

送礼的意义

2009-12-30T16:38:00.002+08:00

我想从今以后这快变成鬼鎮的部落格会慢慢被我遗忘。在我还没完全忘掉它之前，我又有话想说。

昨天受到朋友亲自做的小小圣诞卡。也从她的部落格中读到她亲自做圣诞卡的原因。她说：“原因是﹐我真的很喜歡看到朋友們收到卡時﹐露出的快樂與喜悅。。。” 还说到去年uncle在收到她亲手制做的礼物时露出的惊喜。这是我也回想起去年我送给uncle的礼物。那天聚会在中午举办。原本就打算送他我亲自烘制的土耳其cookies。但前一晚看完他的演唱会，回到家累得像只牛就倒头大睡。唯有聚会当天早上早点爬起来开始烘饼。

在抱抱之后，合照之前把那盒饼干交给他也告诉他是今天早上做的。他哇了一声，由衷地说了两声谢谢。接着我就笑得见牙不见眼，超开心得跟他合照。我知道他不可能吃完整大盒cookies但至少会尝一下。我想这就是送礼在于心意的意思吧。我送礼除了想让我在乎的人尝到homemade的真材实料也很享受看到朋友接过礼物时的表情。

所以有收过我自己做的cookies的朋友都是我在乎的！不在乎不珍惜就不会花时间和精力做。

友谊万岁。

Kelly Lau: 離婚協議書

2009-10-26T13:30:00.004+08:00

刚在facebook读完的一篇文章，好地让我想要储存所以才登在自己的部落格。这篇文章好到有768则回应，好到有4795个人喜欢。数目仍在攀升。

嫁給這個男人五年了，我不知道我是否還愛他，記得剛新婚的時候，早晨時必定會在他懷抱中醒來，我總是紅著臉不敢說一聲早，怕嘴裡的口氣弄皺了他的眉，

漱口杯與牙刷堅持要和他用同款不同色，擺在一起看才有夫妻的感覺。

我會幫他打點上班的衣物，什麼襯衫配什麼領帶，經過我的審美才准他穿上身。

起了床到餐桌上，為了他的健康，我每天變換不同花樣的早餐，晴朗的天可能是培根蛋加上烤土司，有些下雨的話，或許來點小米粥搭醬瓜鹹蛋，要是陰天，不如就吃些外頭的燒餅油條和豆漿，招式用到我變不出新把戲，可是我樂此不疲。

除了當一個賢慧的妻子，我亦毫不掩飾對他的熱情，「我愛你」是每天恭送他出門上班一定說的話，然後附加一個親密的吻，即使他大多時候只是淺淺一笑，也足夠我高興個老半天。

但是，五年過去了。

我相信還不到癢的時候，可是到底是什麼改變了我和他的互動呢？

早晨起床，他的位置往往已空蕩，只能由皺褶的床單證實他確實存在過，即使他偶爾睡過了頭或者小賴一下床，也絕對是急急忙忙由床上跳起來，匆忙的梳洗著衣。

我已經快忘了被他擁抱迎接朝陽的感覺，盥洗室裡的漱口杯，在幾年前被打破後，再也找不到一模一樣的，而另一個也因為掉到馬桶裡，所以也換了新的。

五年內，牙刷已換了不知幾支，甚至有時我們睡迷糊了，還會用上同一支，什麼口氣的問題都不需要掩飾了，是否一樣顏色，一樣款式，他說這些根本不重要。

因此，洗手台上Hello Kitty和小叮噹圖樣，漱口杯左右對峙，小叮噹的杯裡插著一支綠色牙刷，是我的，Hello Kitty則是空的，因為他前一陣子已改用電動牙刷，擺在架子上。

分屬兩個不同故事的漱口杯，以及位於兩個不同位置的牙刷，彷彿在嘲諷我們的夫妻關係，漸行漸遠。

因為他出門的時間早，打點他的衣著已經不再是我的事，他自己會搞定。

早餐呢？很久沒有一起吃了，我同樣不必費盡心思去想菜單、查食譜，反正沒人賞光，更不用說「我愛你」這句話，還有熱情的早安吻，他無福消受，而且現在說起來也有些矯情了。

仔細想想，五年來，他沒有說過一次「我愛你」，一次也沒有。

我和他相聚的時間，嚴格上來說是從晚上七點開始，也就是他下班回來之後，如果他加班的話，那時間可能要延到十點、十一點。

剛結婚的時候，我為了他去學烹飪，「要抓住男人的心，先抓住他的胃」，我深信這個鐵律。

所以，一些餐館名菜常出現在我們餐桌上，宮保雞丁、五更腸旺、蔥油雞、東坡肉……等。

見他吃得高興，我也開懷，雖然不全是我愛吃的，但是他愛吃就好。

飯後，我們會依偎在沙發上看電視，我陪他看新聞，聽他評論國政、批判社情，

他陪我看八點檔，聽我調侃劇情、大哭大笑。

所以我知道行政院長、立法院長是什麼人，他也知道當紅的李世民是誰演的。

我沒有料到的是，五年的時間可以改變這一切，烹飪班我可以說是半途而廢，不知道從哪天起，

他開始干涉我做菜的方法，宮保雞丁他不喜歡太多辣椒，五更腸旺他開始抵制，蔥油雞叫我別淋油，連滷東坡肉要放多少醬油，他都有話說。

我做的菜漸漸變得簡單，烹飪班也不想去了，有時候一盤炒青菜、貢丸湯和皮蛋豆腐就打發掉他，他反而沒什麼意見。

我想，我抓不住他的胃。

隨著他加班次數的增加，我們甚少在一起看電視了，除了現任總統是陳水扁，我對於國家大事可說一無所知，而他，問都不用問台灣霹靂火的男主角是誰他絕對不可能知道。

夫妻之間開始言不及義，他對我說的話，大多都是「不用等我」、「早點睡」，我跟他說的話，也幾乎是「你回來了」、「菜在電鍋熱著」。

我們沒有相同的話題，沒有相同的興趣，除了「夫妻」名義上的聯繫，我們的交流空泛的可憐，比普通朋友還不如。

多可笑的夫妻關係，不是嗎？

婚前，我們曾描繪著未來的願景，他說要生兩個孩子，先男後女，哥哥可以保護妹妹，我卻認為應該先享受一段兩人生活，生孩子的時情倒不急於一時，只是我不想壞了他的興致，並沒有說出口。

婚後一陣子，他很積極的和我「創造宇宙繼起之生命」，他想要孩子，從他不戴保險套的行為可以看得出來，可是我還不想要，又怕他不高興，於是我背著他吃避孕藥。

記得那時，他還興沖沖的帶我到醫院探視一名女性朋友，她剛生完一個四千兩百公克的巨嬰，神色萎糜的躺在病床上。

我忘不了他隔著一塊玻璃看新生娃娃時，眼中綻放的神采，可是我更忘不了，那位女性朋友用著虛弱的語氣告訴我，

她整整痛了一天一夜，才求醫生由自然產改為剖腹產，我更不敢生小孩了。

五年後的今天，他似乎已經放棄生小孩這回事，畢竟只有他一頭熱是沒用的。

可是，待在他上班之後空洞的房子裡，我突然覺得生個孩子也不錯，至少屋子裡會熱鬧點，我的寂寞，也會少一點。

他早就在數年前就開始用保險套了，我不清楚是什麼讓他改變心意，不過這也鬆了我一口氣，我對避孕藥似乎過敏，不論換什麼牌子最後都落得一個水腫的下場。

我猜他六百多度的近視加閃光，應該看不出我水腫前和水腫後有什不一樣，重點是他的保險套解決了我一個大麻煩，同時又帶來另一個新煩惱。

我現在想要一個孩子了，他卻似乎不想，我不知怎麼跟他開口，更別提他頻繁的加班，晚上常累得倒頭就睡，如果我再開這個口，似乎變相增加他的壓力。

兩個人之間，已經夠低潮了，不需要再增加一個會引起衝突的話題。

在我們戀愛的時候，他很喜歡帶我到淡水，坐在河堤旁看落日，沿著碼頭走一遭，可以吃到不同口味的各式小吃，淡水的海產頗富盛名，他似乎是識途老馬，總知道哪家是最道地的。

有時候，他帶著我坐渡輪到對岸的八里，那裡熱鬧的只有一條路，賣的全是孔雀蛤，兩個人可以吃掉一大盤，還覺得意猶未盡。

他也會和我騎雙人腳踏車沿著淡水老街騎到淡海，再由淡海騎回來，沿路的風景不算十分迷人，但有種質樸的味道，兼之海風鹹鹹的打在臉上，我很享受這種氣氛。

當然，坐在腳踏車後座的我三天打漁兩天曬網，心情好的時候才踩兩下，他明知我偷懶，還是賣力的踩，我很懷念，真的即使過了五年，那段回憶仍然歷歷在目。

婚後到淡水的次數，除了新婚那一陣子，幾乎屈指可數，近兩、三年更是一次都沒去過。

每到假日，他不到中午不會起床，我見他這麼疲倦，當然也不會煩他帶我到處走走。

假日照理說，我和他應該可以有些交集可是他累，我只能自己找事做，和在上班工作的朋友出門逛逛街，聊聊是非，也順便埋怨一下他。

至於在家睡覺的他，午、晚飯，自己解決吧！

他不知道，在前幾個月，我耐不住無聊，自個兒坐捷運到了淡水。

果然，太久沒有去了，那裡已經變成一個我完全不認識的地方，

河堤旁的小吃攤不見了，全部集中在捷運站附近，過去我和他看夕陽的地方整修成一條長堤，僅供散步，路面變得乾淨整潔固然是好，但是收藏著我和他美好記憶的地方，消失了。

沒有他的帶路，我找不到道地的海產店，找不到好吃的小吃，自己一個人也騎不了雙人單車，但我驚訝的發現，淡水多了一個漁人碼頭，可以坐公車過去。

漁人碼頭，他的腳步沒有踏上過，我先了他一步，這是沒有他，只有我的經驗。

到了漁人碼頭邊，風景美復美矣，卻有種人工雕砌的做作，我以為花了幾百元搭乘藍色公路可以到對岸八里，就像渡輪一般，但那失了古風的遊艇卻繞了一大圈後又開回原點。

除了顛簸的船身搖得我頭暈目眩，我記不起來什麼美麗的風景，連孔雀蛤也沒撈到一粒，淡水變了，我和他的回憶，也變了。

某個早上，我特地比他早起，煮了頓睽違已久的豐盛早餐給他。

然後，沒有第三者，沒有爭吵．我遞出了離婚協議書。

那是我第一次看到他那麼震驚的表情，如果那天是愚人節，我想我成功了。

可是，我不會開那般惡劣的玩笑，他知道我是認真的，他沒有像一般男人一樣，暴跳如雷，開始數落女方的罪狀，也沒有哭哭啼啼，跪下哀求我留下，他只是極力冷靜自己的心緒，默不吭聲的接下協議書，開門，上班，一如往常。

他或許也察覺我們的夫妻關係到了一個瓶頸，也打算仔細考慮離婚的可行性，他近幾年的疏離，我沒有流下一滴眼淚，可是他這天的冷漠，幾乎傾盡我五年的淚水。

我有些後悔，這後悔逐漸蔓延，以心臟為一個起點，通傳至我的頭頂及腳趾。

但後悔又如何呢？

不快刀斬亂麻，也只是拖著一個平淡如水的日子，兩個人乾耗。

我不知道自己對他的愛剩多少，更不清楚他對我的愛剩多少。

嫁給他之前，我就知道他沈默寡言，嫁給他之後，自以為能改變他的我，並沒有改變他多少。

我的愛，還不足以改變他，他的愛，亦不足以為我改變，這大概是關鍵所在。

柴米油鹽醬醋茶會摧毀愛情的甜蜜，我嚐到了，但這卻是用五年換來的教訓。

趁現在，沒有孩子，沒有牽絆，我也不貪圖他什麼，該是離婚最好的時機吧！

抖著手在離婚協議書上簽下名的我，交給他之後他出去幾個小時了，我仍然在發抖，

這是一種未知的惶恐，我等他給我一個結果。

他冷淡了我五年後，又凌遲了我七天。

從離婚協議書交到他手上之後，整整一個星期，他不與我說一句話，也睡了七天的沙發，每天仍然照常上下班，除了更加冷淡，我感覺不到他的喜怒哀樂。

那張協議書，就算扔到垃圾筒裡，還會有觸動垃圾袋的聲音，可是他，一點聲音也沒有，我懷疑他根本不當一回事，一段時間不理會我，只是在看我會不會自己忘了離婚這回事。

我受不了了，他到底要怎麼做呢？

連離婚，也要離得這麼漠然嗎？

然而，七天之後的他，結結實實嚇了我一跳，一早，我聽到他在客廳起床的聲音，隔著門板聽不真切，我卻一直等不到他出去上班的關門聲。

一陣乒乒乓乓的金屬撞擊，取代了他一向安安靜靜的作息，我終於按捺不住起身察看，卻在開門後，聞到了一陣食物的香氣。

「起床了嗎？吃點蛋捲。」他笑著，如新婚時我吻他之後那般淺笑。

我心裡狠狠跳了一下，原以為古井不波的情緒，因他久違的體貼，而起了絲絲漣漪。

他還是那麼輕易的，可以撩動我的心，我不清楚他怎麼可以混到九點、十點還不去上班，他接收到我的疑惑，也只是淡然一笑，身上簡單的服裝一點兒上班的氣息都沒有。

可能他，也有工作疲乏吧！

也可能他要宣判了，關於那張離婚協議書，看他神色自若的樣子，我默默吃著早餐，幻想著等一下他會說的話。

他會不會乾脆的就離婚了呢？還是在我面前撕了協議書呢？

不可否認的，我的心，傾向後者。

「我升上經理了。」

他的第一句話，出乎我意料，下一句話，卻馬上進入重點，轟得我措手不及，

「工作上的事告一段落，現在要好好處理家裡的事。」

工作是排在家庭之前嗎？我苦笑。

「工作安頓好，我才能給妳安定的家。」

他像在解釋我的疑惑。

「所以，告訴我為什麼要離婚呢？」

他終於問了，臉色變得嚴肅。

他從來沒有用過這種質疑的口氣與我說話，望著他難得的厲色，我竟一句話也說不出來。

「妳覺得我冷淡妳了嗎？」

轉眼，他的態度忽而又變得自嘲，弄得我丈二金剛，「我就知道妳一個人在家老是胡思亂想。」

我和他長談了一整天，數個小時的談話，有五分之四的時間我是在哭的，因為我覺得自己犯了一個滔天大錯，可是有些事，沒有那張離婚協議書，我永遠不會知道。

他說，五年來，他確實每天都是抱著我醒來，只是後來他工作忙，起床時間變早，而我仍沈睡著，不知道罷了，有時他還會親親我的臉，看著我貪懶的睡顏，他不忍心叫醒我。

而擺在盥洗室的漱口杯，他根本搞不清楚小叮噹是他的或Hello Kitty才是他的，他以為粉紅色是女孩子的頻色，所以他一直用著小叮噹的嗽口杯。

原來，我們一直在無形間，做著親密的唇齒交流，可憐了Hello Kitty，擺在那兒沒人用，成了個裝飾品。

早餐，他吃的都是7-11，他承認很想念我做的早餐，可是他不好意思要我每天做給他，他知道我會擠盡腦汁變花樣，他捨不得看我太累。

「我娶妳，是希望妳享福，不是要妳來當女傭的。」

從他這句話開始，我便止不住眼淚。

提到他的衣著，他更是笑我的傻，他看得出來我會為他添新衣服，按顏色花樣在櫃裡整整齊齊的分類擺放，而新婚時期我常幫他搭配，久了他也知道我的喜好，什麼領帶配什麼衣服，他是為我而穿。

至於熱情的早安吻，每天他早在我熟睡間給我了，我卻兀自鑽牛角尖，認為他不需要我的吻。

「你為什麼從不說你愛我呢？」我噙著淚水問他。

「我以為妳知道，否則我們為什麼結婚呢？」

他理所當然回答。

是啊！我知道，我一直都知道，不然我不會嫁給他的，可是既然知道，我又何必強求他說出來呢？

女人都是需要一些愛語滋潤的，我想這就是理由，看著我控訴的眼光，我想他也知道理由了。

「妳做的大菜，很好吃可是那些菜費工夫，也不全是妳喜歡的，所以我寧可妳做些簡單的菜，最好是妳也喜歡吃。」

他一句一句的解釋，又讓我掉了一缸淚水，「妳不喜歡吃辣，因此我要妳少放辣椒，妳不吃內臟，那我也不吃，妳怕胖，所以料理時我希望油加少一點，醬油鹽份高，吃多腎臟負擔大，為了妳我健康著想，調味即可，不必加太多。」

只要是我煮的，他都喜歡，想想每次準備食物給他，他沒有一次不是吃光的，到底為什麼我會覺得抓不住他的胃呢？

所以，我也抓住了他的心嗎？

另一件令我驚訝的事，他真的知道台灣霹靂火的男主角是誰，即使猜得不完全正確。

「是劉文聰嗎？還是那個李正賢呢？晚上在公司加班，同事都會開電視來看，所以我多少也知道一點。」他撫去我臉上淚痕，笑問：「妳也在看嗎？」

「嗯。」我又想哭了，我真是小覷了那個節目的收視率。

「當上經理之後會比較少加班，那我們就一起看。」

他說得輕鬆，我卻鼻頭一陣酸楚。

我在意的，其實不是看什麼節目，管他行政院長、立法院長是誰，沒有他在身邊，看什麼都索然無味。

我發現，只要願意，兩個人什麼事都可以談，連我跟他解釋台灣霹靂火的劇情，一路聊到整容話題，他也聽得津津有味。

是我，是我封閉了自己，以為他不願意聽我說話、不願意對我說話。

他心疼我一個人在家裡，聊公司裡的事怕悶壞我，又見我一副不想搭理他的樣子，他每天只能摸摸一鼻子的灰。

無論他跟我說什麼，我都是愛聽的，可是我現在才讓他知道，夫妻兩浪費了幾年的時間在這種誤解之間打轉，他活該，我也活該。

「我很少看新聞，都不知道國家最近發生了什麼事。」

我這句話出口得有些抱怨。

「好，我以後每天當妳的新聞台。」他溫柔的笑了。

聊到生孩子的事，他先是一陣默然。

「我想生一個孩子。」這時候，我有勇氣說出口了。

「我以為妳不想，剛結婚那一陣子，妳不是一直吃避孕藥嗎？」難得聽到他有些怪罪的語氣。

進一步了解之後，我才發現，他一直知道我在吃藥，或許是我哪次把藥隨便擱在化粧台上，被他看到了，他徹底了解我不想要孩子。

而他也知道，我吃完藥隔天會有水腫的現象，身子骨纖細的我，一雙腳腫得跟象腿一樣，也只有我這種人的鴕鳥心態，才會認為他不會發現。

後來我養成習慣將藥好好放在抽屜中，他以為我不再吃，怕身子水腫難受，所以他戴起保險套，說來說去，還是為了我。

「妳又水腫了嗎？一直哭個不停，是想把身體裡的水逼出來嗎？」

他居然敢揶揄我，免不了得到我飽以老拳。

他還是想要孩子的，聽完我說想生孩子，他眼下興奮的光芒大大的告訴我這一點。

只不過，那抹光芒在閃爍之後隨即斂去，他又正襟危坐的問了我一個問題。

「妳真的想生嗎？」

「想啊！我一個人在家好無聊。」

「只是因為無聊嗎？如果一個人在家無聊，妳想出去學東西、去工作、和朋友去逛街，我不會阻撓妳。」

「你不是也想嗎？」我生氣了，縱然淚眼婆娑沒什麼說服力。

他開始說起那個四千兩百公克的巨嬰，原來那名女性朋友的經驗不僅嚇到我，也嚇到他了。

他不希望我生孩子還要受極大的痛苦，什麼剖腹產、自然產，他一點概念也沒有，只知道一定會很痛，他明白我怕痛，所以他捨棄了生孩子的想法。

「我不管，我要生。」明瞭了他的想法後，我更希望替他生一個孩子，身體裡流著我和他血液的孩子。

「那就生吧！」他悄悄的在我耳邊說了一句令我臉紅的話。

「你這麼有精力，不是上班很累嗎？」

我狐疑他話裡的真實性。

經他解釋，我才恍然大悟，就算工作累，他偶爾也有慾望，有時晚上摟著我，又看我睡得香甜，這種看得到吃不到的痛苦，他只能鬱鬱的悶在自己心裡，

面對他的心意，我，真的無言了。

在我像兩顆水蜜桃的雙眼略為消腫後，他催我換衣服，帶我出門。

已經好久沒和他一起出遊了，在兩人間的冷淡破冰後，坐在他身邊竟也給我當初戀愛的感覺。

我凝望著他專心駕駛的側臉，將他的動作姿態深深刻在心裡，因為我差點忘了，我和他之間還橫著一個問題，那張離婚協議書。

我要一輩子記住他的模樣，如果他最後仍是簽了名，可是，他應該不會簽吧！

否則，他何必和我討論生孩子的事。

「到了。」他停車，我也隨之下車。

海風迎面吹來，是淡水。

他也記得這個地方，這個我們記憶珍藏的地方。

「我一直想帶妳來，可是妳假日都和朋友出門，我只好蒙著棉被在家睡覺。」他如此說道。

這是個什麼烏龍呢？

我體諒他工作累，他體諒我和朋友出門，就這樣我們錯過了，一次又一次的相伴。

「你以後想幹什麼，可以直接說。」我惱火的盯著他。

「妳也是。」他正經八百的回視我，言下之意是要我別五十步笑百步。

說來也好笑，我們一直認為自己是在為對方著想，以自己的方式去體貼對方，這種自以為是卻導致了無數個陰錯陽差，一直到我開始懷疑自己不愛他，他也不愛我了，才驚覺這份愛並不是消逝，而是溶入了生活之中，自然的讓人忘了它的存在。

愛情的表現，可以是黏膩、親熱、奉獻、祝福，甚至是退讓，每個人的方式不同，會導致的結果各異。

我的方式是盲目的付出，他的方式是全然的關懷，乍看之下兩個人都沒錯，可是無論什麼方式，中間少了一種叫「溝通」的元素，就容易導致裂痕。

我們的婚姻，就是建築在這種缺乏溝通的空中樓閣之上，嫁給這個男人五年了，我以為我漸漸的不愛他，但只是一番簡單的剖白心意，我對他所有的愛再度復活，甚而轉濃。

女人會因男人長久的冷落而對愛情失望，也可以因男人一句話又對愛情充滿希望，

我不想和他離婚，一點兒也不想，當初硬著頭皮簽下名，或許只是賭氣，只是要他正眼看看我。

可是 ……

「那、那張離婚協議書……。」我要收回來。

「在公司裡。」他好整以暇，「公司的碎紙機裡。」

這個意思是… …？

「妳想離婚，等我成為亡夫時再說吧！」

我估量不出他說這句話，是不是在開玩笑，不過他又騙到我的淚水。

他真的很愛我，即使他沒有說過，我想如果我堅持離婚，他會放我走的，他捨不得見我難過，就像他見我掉淚又趕快摟住我一樣。

倘若，是他想離婚呢？

恕我自私，我是堅決不會放的，除非等我變成亡妻，同樣因為他捨不得見我難過，我自信可以留住他。

「淡水整個都變了，我都快不認識了。」

哄完了我，他連忙帶開話題。

「我來過，我知道有什麼景點。」

「那這次就要靠妳帶路囉！」

是啊！我們可以開創新的回憶，只要有我也有他，什麼時間地點都不成問題。

結婚五年，

我又發現了一次愛情。

完*

故事很真实。虽然每对夫妻会遇到的问题不全然一样但缺乏沟通却是很普遍的一个问题。希望我们闪得过这个绊脚石。我常说 If he doesn't love you the way you want to be loved, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. 有时也该提醒自己。

读完文章又看到一则很有意思的回应：

Gary Tsang：如果你也正在為愛迷惘,或許下面這段話可以給你一些啟示：
愛一個人,
要了解,也要開解,要道歉,也要道謝,
要認錯,也要改錯,要體貼,也要體諒,
是接受,而不是忍受,是寬容,而不是縱容,
是支持,而不是支配,是慰問,而不是質問,
是傾訴,而不是控訴,是難忘,而不是遺忘,
是彼此交流,而不是凡事交代,
是為對方默默祈求,而不是向對方諸多要求,
可以浪漫,但不要浪費,
可以隨時牽手,但不要隨便分手。
如果你都做到了,即使你不再愛一個人時,
你的心中也只有懷念與感念,而不會懷恨。

两位帅哥的表

2009-06-26T09:55:00.003+08:00

两只表示不一样的！

2009-06-24T17:53:00.002+08:00

E-vo-let

2009-05-15T09:42:00.002+08:00

Both my hubby and I were mesmerized by the beauty of the female lead in 10,000 BC. She was really gorgeous and I have never seen such beautiful eyes before! Maybe it is because she is so beautiful, I find the name of her character really nice too - Evolet. If you say it French, it will be without the 't' at the end. I like it French.

We both think it is so nice, we might just give our (future) daughter this name! Evolet Ergul. Sweet!

"ay dye-dent"

2009-05-13T08:31:00.004+08:00

For a long long time, I have been falling asleep in his arms while the movies are still running. I just feel très fatigué after dinner every evening. Yesterday evening, after being spared from making dinner which is a blessing since I had only 4 hours of sleep the previous night (no, more like morning!), we played [The Devil's Own] starring a, then sexy, charming, head turner and très charismatic man now kind elderly, Harrison Ford and a, then boyish now attractive matured man, Brad Pitt.

I marveled at my ability to finish the entire show, all 107 minutes of it without as much as a nod. Is it the eye candies or the enjoyable storyline?

This movie is based on the IRA terrorists and Pitt spoke with an Irish accent which the mister and I had a kick from mimicking! When Pitt said 'I didn't' with that Irish accent of the character he played, it was articulated as: "ay dye-dent". I told the mister if someone ask me if I did something, I shall reply with 'ay dye-dent' and no one will understand me. But, I will be dying from all the laughter bottling up in me. And when the reply calls for a 'Yes', I will say 'Aye'. haha

And we totally love the little girl playing as the youngest daughter of the O'Meara's family. When Pitt first moved into their home, this little girl said a prayer before dinner. After thanking god for everything she ended it with, "I hope Rory likes the basement because I don't like it" and lots of giggles! The mister said her character has so much wit for such a little person. Adorable!

ludwig van beethoven

2009-03-25T15:52:00.002+08:00

my thoughts go out to you , my immortal beloved, now and then joyfully.

i can live only wholly with you or not at all. yes, i am resolved to wander so long away from you until i can fly to your arms and say that i am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits.

no else can can ever possess my heart - never - never - never. your love makes me at once the happiest of men. my angel -be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - my life - my all. oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

~~ ludwig van beethoven ~~

At first sight

2009-03-17T09:53:00.007+08:00

前几天和老公看了At First Sight 的 DVD. 男主角是在一九九五年演过 Batman 的 Val Kilmer. 女主角是意大利籍的Mira Sorvino. 电影的桥断取自于一个真实的故事。

这部电影出了男女主角的戏，另外一个较显著的角色应该就是男主角的姐姐 - Jennie。

从小失明的 Virgil (Kilmer 饰) 是Jennie 一手带大的。自然而然，姐姐对他非常保护。保护的程度有如慈母多败儿。当然，我不全然觉得她是错的。因为她的出发点绝对是好的，不想让弟弟受到任何伤害。

Virgil 和 Amy (Sorvino 饰) 是在 Virgil 上班的按摩中心里认识的。按摩中心设于一个小镇。起初 Amy 没察觉 Virgil 是位失明人士。直到道别时，Amy 把手伸出想和 Virgil 握手，Virgil 却没有回应，只拍拍了她的肩旁。Virgil 对 Amy 伸出的手完全视而不见。当下她才意识到和她聊了许久的 Virgil 是看不到的。

长话短说。两人坠入爱河。不久后，Amy 出自一片好心，想让心上人也能看到世界的精彩，不畏劳苦在纽约找到了一位可信度极高的眼科专家可以帮 Virgil 动手术。这番好意却招来了 Jennie 的惡劣反对。唯有在 Virgil 的坚持下，Jennie 才放弃阻止他。

到了纽约，医生分析了他的情况。最终为他动手术。纱布一除下的那一瞬间，Virgil 的反应很极端。二十多年来，一向依赖触觉打理生活中的一切，突然拥有了视觉，脑袋一时之间无法适应，导致 Virgil 非常慌张。

在 Amy 无微不至的关爱中，Virgil 终于克服了心中的恐惧，积极享受一般人视为理所当然的视觉。仿佛天下无不散之宴席，没多久后，Virgil 的视觉不时会变成黑漆漆的一片。快乐的日子就此将尽。

情绪低落的 Virgil 整理了行李，独自回到自己熟悉的小镇。就这样，两人没再联络。

事隔多年，两人才在纽约再度碰面。这次再会他们俩似从没离开彼此。

片终。

老娘的幸福主張

2009-02-03T10:29:00.011+08:00

这期i-周刊登了华仔的幸福主張，朋友做了也叫我做一做。心想满好玩的，来咯！

1. 幸福是。。。珍惜眼前所拥有的一切，包括爱人，家人和朋友

2. 愛一個人就是會。。。在结婚多年后仍觉得很爱很爱他

3. 我愛上的那個人是。。。很有想法，很多知识的人

4. 20歲前的愛情是。。。不存在的

5. 20歲後的愛情是。。。(edit)一心一意的

6. 在愛情中做過最瘋狂的小事是。。。把整本日记抄给他

7. 真正的浪漫是。。。在我们的小窝，熄灯，点蜡烛，看DVD

8. 戀愛中的我是。。。任性的

9. 當面對愛情與事業的抉擇。。。爱胜过一切

10. 2009年經濟低靡﹐假如大家覺得不快樂。。。知足常乐会让人快乐

11. 3件讓我快樂的事: 和华仔合照。烹煮和烘制出好吃的事物。和他一起快乐过日子。

12. 目前我的快樂指數: 6

13. 快樂的生活狀態是。。。不欺，不贪。简单生活。

14. 讓我雙眼發亮的食物。。。油炸的和精緻的糕点

15. 地球上充滿最多能量的地方是。。。家和华仔天地

16. 光是想﹐已經會讓我微笑的人/事是。。。零八年十二月和华仔的合照

17. 目前為止發生在身上最美好的事是。。。找到那个可以包容我坏脾气的他

18. 2009年生活中我最期待的一件事。。。筹备华人婚礼

19. 2009年想對大家說。。。选你爱的人。爱你选的人。

20. 曾經夢想﹐並已成真的願望是。。。年轻嫁人

21. 曾經夢想﹐但還沒成真的願望是。。。拥有两个儿子两个女儿

22. 《游龍戲鳳》里﹐最有意思的一句對白是。。。还不知道

23. 我的生存座右銘是。。。以平常心面对生活中的一切。这样一来，就算有失望也不会过度。

Words and Books

2008-10-02T17:26:00.002+08:00

Ever since I started my cooking expedition last Nov, the books I have been reading are often related to cooking, if not baking. Only recently, I have gotten back on track reading novels of the author I am a fan of. They include Nicholas Sparks - I can't wait for the library to stock up on his 'The Lucky One'; Stuart Woods - I missed out quite a few books of his and I'm sure gonna catch up on them; Mary Higgins Clark - I read her books since I was in Secondary School.

Books are my other greatest love.

I dread feeling like this

2008-09-02T09:20:00.002+08:00

This morning I got a call from my mum just before I left the house for work. Two Saturdays back we just celebrated my granny's 80th birthday. It was such a crowd, there were at least 90 people present for that big day. Today, my granny is admitted into the hospital because she vomitted blood.

I'm not at ease.

The Ergüls First Home

2008-07-18T17:48:00.004+08:00

Hi all, I'm please to announce, like I already did on my food blog, that the Ergüls are getting the keys to their first home in Singapore in just an hour, or less.

I'm really excited and have gotten the weekend all planned out. I/We will be cleaning madly tomorrow, get the bedrooms painted by Sun, move in on Monday! And the painter will come by the following 2 Sundays to finish up the paint job. By then, the house will look new! Yippee!

I will use this blog to document the progress of the acquisition of this house as I will like to look back in a few years and see what we have actually done to it to make it what it is.

I have purchased the paint colours for all the bedrooms and ceiling this afternoon at lunch time and 5 cans of 5 litres paint are now sitting in the boot of my dad's car. Progress is what I seek. Will update again after we get our keys later! tata!

E-M-E-R-S-O-N

2008-07-07T16:25:00.004+08:00

I have to document this because I cannot believe the coincidence. I'm now reading this novel - Love Happens by Sarah O'Brien and 1 significant character in this book - Emerson Burke introduces me to the name 'Emerson'. Prior to his book, I have never ever in my life come across a name like this. In this book, this fellow broke his wife's heart by being caught red-handed in bed by his wife when she went on a surprise visit to his set in Spain. As fate will have it, it was the same day their son turns 3 and it's also their wedding anniversary. Thus, the surprise visit. To have her wife see him in bed in his cosy little caravan with a hot Spanish, dark curly hair harlot is just unbelievable. When he apologized that he didn't mean to hurt her and their son, she retorted with a brilliant line. "It's just too bad that you didn't think of your son when you're screwing that Spanish whore!" She said something to that effect and it's my favourite in the book thus far. Naturally, a strong sense of dislike grew in me for this bastard.

And I have digressed. Yesterday, I started reading the above-mentioned book and got to know Emerson Burke. Today, at the multi-storey carpark my colleague parked his car at, I saw a van with its corporate logo printed on it - Emerson something... And while I'm browsing through sample photographs, that is real photos by real users, of various cameras with the ability to do super macro shots, on Flickr, by EMERSON FIUZA!

So many EMERSONs all over the place in mere 24 hours. It's such a cute coincidence!

----------------------------------------------------

Since we were talking about books, please allow me to share some habits I have when ready. I get a little cranky when it's coming to an end of a good book. It's like that's all I have left of a good book and I can't bear to finish it! Yet I need to find out the ending. Argh, irony.

6 months

2008-06-30T10:46:00.002+08:00

Ok guys, today is the last day of Jun which also means we have reach the half-mark of 2008. Believe it or not, I've been telling people, Damn it, time really flies. If you're able to read this, you are probably at least a few years old already and for many others, we have already been on this universe for at least 2 decades, or more. And having been around for so long, what do you think you have actually accomplished within that few decades or even for the past six months?

For all you know, life isn't a constant high with no low at all. That's just too la vie on rose and unrealistic. But good news will knock on your door anytime, you just don't really know when exactly. We're keeping our fingers crossed to get the keys to our very first home before 1st of August which is also when the Ghost Festival starts and last for a full month in the lunar calendar. It's commonly known to be inauspicious to accomplish big things in this month, i.e Wedding, Moving into a new house, even travelling for some. As such, our property agent kinda guaranteed she will hand the keys over before then. As I said, we can only keep our fingers crossed cuz she mentioned the current tenant and family of the owners will move out by end of Jun. When Jun came and went and that did not happen. I mean, look. The wife (co-owner)'s sister is currently 'looking after' the house because the owners had to be outstation for years. Thus, the reason to sell it. And the lucky sister has to move out very soon after the house is being sold. But throughout the entire period she was and still is there, she needs not pay any rent. And you know, if I were her, I will not be eager to look for another place which is one which I have to fork money out for the rent. You get what I mean? So she is probably taking her own sweet time with her search for another place. Argh. You know how eager we are to settle into a home we call ours? And it's being delayed because of this! Sheesh.

But anyway. I think the part of the house which will be ready in the shortest time is the Kitchen! That's partly because that's the only place that has been done up and I have about all the basic things I need to cook and serve. It's fab!

So last Sunday, while my husband went to bed at 8am after working through the night, and woke me up in the process, I sneaked out at a little after 9 in the morning to town, to shop, that is! And the Isetan credit card that I possess entitles me to discounts, albeit not huge. And everything I lugged out of that departmental store was for the kitchen. I was elated to find a shelf with Turkish made ovenware - Borçam! I went bonkers and got so much from there! And shopping is therapeutic, I am sure you know! Cheers!

La Signorina

2008-06-24T15:31:00.003+08:00

Months ago my sister and I got the idea to start this small business of our own. We’re selling ladies’ wear. You know sometimes life and other things get into the way and recently I spent an entire day fine tuning this collateral of ours. And I must say, I’m damn proud of my work. I’ve not been trained in the field of design but I do have an eye for good design. This goes for my sister too. And the person we are grateful to for instilling this in us is none other than our mother. She has always been the mother who is very fashionable. I mean when friends and classmates come over to our house, the comment all of them make is the same – Woah, your mother is so pretty and young! Indeed, she gave birth to our brother when she was merely 22 years old. And it will be our parents’ 26^th wedding anniversary this November. The 4 of us are very lucky to be growing up in a complete family, albeit not perfect. And we share a lot of common comments from outsider since young, even till now. Friends of ours, friends of our parents and our relatives have been telling us how lucky we all are because our parents really dote on us a lot. Bringing up one child is no easy stuff, imagine 4 times that hardship. Even though there are 4 of us altogether, my parents are still able to pamper us and provide for us (not in a way that makes us spoilt brats). This is only possible because they save and scrimp on themselves so that they can provide the best for us.

I am so used to growing up in a family where home cooked food is served on the dinner table 6 days out of 7, for both lunch and dinner. Sadly, not all my friends live in such luxury, cuz it’s mostly a double income family. And not too long, I brought dinner that my mum packed for me and my husband to L’s house cuz my husband had things to do. She was amazed by the spread for that is a rare sight for her. But this is so common for us. My mum cooks about 5 dishes for each meal. And it’s amazing how short a time she needs to do that. It takes me an hour or more for 3 dishes! My mum is that capable! No doubts, I’m damn proud of her!

Actually all I want to say is that we owe it all to my mum for what we are today. I’m sorry I got too excited talking about my family and I’ve digressed.

And here, I’ve produced and edited my way through to creating a good piece of work, regardless of how much time it took me.1st draft

2nd draft & probably final

catstrophobic

2008-06-06T15:12:00.004+08:00

I'm so scared cuz I have to live with a cat :(
We get to save $150 every month but I think I will be scared shitless everyday.

I'm going bonkers

2008-06-06T09:11:00.001+08:00

Because we can no longer take the crap and the relentless effort our current landlords made, we have decided to end our misery there by the end of our first month there. So, on Wednesday, we went to see this old flat which was fine even though it’s kinda shoddy cuz its old. But heck, we need it for only 1 to 2 months and they happen to only wanna let lease it out for that long too as they are planning to get that flat sold.

Then we talked to our current landlords about ending each others’ pain by letting us leave tomorrow which will be exactly a month since we moved in. And they agreed. We are pleased because they promised to return the deposit to us. So we called up the girl at the new place to confirm our tenancy with her even when earlier in the afternoon she informed us about the change in cooking status, we can’t cook now. I struggled with that idea and eventually gave in. It’s not the most ideal situation but heck I guess I can live with that for a month, or two.

Guess what? Just before we ended the conversation, she told us, or rather my husband that they will have a cat coming in next week. Then, it is like the world crashed on me. Is this a joke or what? I certainly cannot stay in a house with cat(s). I will go crazy and I will look like a fool in front of them, not that I care. I am concerned about my mental health. I have nothing against them and I will definitely not hurt them in any way unless they try to attack me. And I’m sorry, I mean no offence to cat lovers, my husband is one! As ecstatic as he is about staying with cats, I’m going mad.

I told him I can’t come home by myself and he said he will always be home before me then, so he can carry the cat away while I walk into the room. What about when I need to shower and he has a customer to attend to online? Oh gosh. This is not working out.

You know, I have no wish to be like this too. Cuz when I go out for lunch with my colleagues to places with stray cats who stays just beside my seat. They don’t freaking care about how pale my first turned and just eat their food as if I am transparent and my fear is staged. Damn. I hate that.

I’m just going bonkers for fear that we have to sleep on the streets tomorrow.

Life & Growing Up

2008-06-05T16:34:00.002+08:00

When one grows life and move on to different phases in life; you go through ups and reach out to the blue sky and white clouds; you fall down and you hit rock bottom. And when you are married when things like that happen, you should stay together and solve the problems hand in hand regardless how big is that pile of sh*t thrown in your face.

It’s not been an easy route for us either, but we’ve managed to swim to the surface whether by fighting and arguing about our different views all day long or coming to a consensus and resolve the issue in the same fashion.

I don’t even wanna talk about the things we have experienced out of Singapore’s context. First of all, there is the Permanent Residence (PR) application. No one is able to guarantee it will be successful, be it the first or tenth attempt. But after a 4 and a half months of dreadful wait, we received an envelope from our government that was pretty thick, it congratulated us that Mr Ergül’s PR application has been approved. In between that, we applied for a student pass for him cuz that at the very minimum will ensure a legal stay here. However, it was not approved and that kinda gave us a scare. I mean, how often does a student pass application get rejected? And the crook people at the Chinese center told us it is because we had a PR application going on concurrently. We check that out with the immigrations authority and they told us, that is crap. But, of course, they didn’t put it in those exact words. So, till now, we’re still disputing it with the crook Chinese businessman to get our rightful money back.

Then we went on to apply for a Long Term Social Visit (LTSV) pass when the PR one was taking a tad too long. In the past, in 3 months you get to know if the application went through. But recently, there was an influx of foreigners, and the guessing period lengthened by 3 months. It’s literally a guessing game to me and I mean no offence to the government. I know they need a lot of time to go through each and every application and I have no qualms with that. On the other hand, for people whose survival or death depends upon this literally had a crazy wait. At least, for us, we got it so we say It’s Worth The Wait. But can you imagine if you waited and you didn’t get it? Then, it’s a fruitless attempt and it’s sad. I know some people apply it for a dozen times and still don’t get it and you don’t really know why it was being rejected because the criteria is not disclosed to us, or any one else for that matter.

We used to know this couple which applied with the Singaporean wife as sponsor, just like how we did it, but their applications were rejected three or four times in all. One of those tries, they told them since the husband is working here on the Employment Pass status, and he can continue staying here with that pass. But then, it could be also because the wife doesn’t make a very good sponsor as she is only working part-time, those are her exact words, not mine. So, the reason could be anything and no one knows. Nonetheless, we are glad we are blessed.

After staying at my parents’ place for a few months, we moved out and the chance of finding a suitable place is about as low as striking lottery. We probably went to 10 or more houses until we decide on our first rented room which we stayed for about 6 months and 1 week. We made ourselves at home, and a little over I think. By then, we have spent $$3,125 on rent, which is $500 a month, very decent for the freedom and fantastic room and all. We were on the highest level of the entire block and enjoyed the breeze and view.

Then we ‘downgraded’ from the 20^th storey to 3^rd storey, another room at the opposite block. And we started looking at resale flats when we got no chance with the new and subsidized ones. Out of 150 available units, out balloted queue number is 700+. Tell me the probability of getting a unit! All 150 units were grabbed up within the first couple of days of selection. It’s crazy.

Having gone down this road before, let me share with you – my beloved family and friends, the pros and cons of buying a new flat from our government and getting one from the open market.

But before that, I have to mention that the overall prices of properties in the open market have been increasing rather significantly since 2007. It’s crazy and the guys in the property line are pocketing huge loads of money from each deal, not illegally. At the end of 2007, the employees working in a property company took home a 70-month bonus. It’s insane! A four-room flat bought newly at, say, $$180,000 a couple of years back is valuated at at least S$250,000 now. On top of the valuated price, the owners ask for at least $$10,000 to S$15,000 cash. Yes, you read it right, cash. I’m not sure if this trend happens in other parts of the world and I am interested to know. So now, you get a much clearer picture, don’t you?

Since properties in the open market is, in general, a lot higher than that of the new ones, the government provides grant to help us out. Before that, getting a NEW flat means you buy it as the first owner from the government. So the first pro of getting a resale flat is that you enjoy grants. First, there is a S$30,000 grant for buying a house from the resale/ open market. Then, an additional $10,000 if the unit you’re going to purchase is near either party’s parents, as long as it is in the same estate. Also, additional grant might be possible should the gross monthly household income falls below $4,000 for the previous 24 months. This also implies that either party has to be working for at least 24 months to justify the below average household income. If you don’t meet this requirement, you get nothing more than the $40,000 grant which you eventually have to put it back into your CPF account when you decide to sell the house which has to be at least 5 years later.

I think I have said enough about the money issues for buying a resale flat.

In addition, when you buy a resale flat, you can go see the real thing, you can view the house for as many times as you like as long as you don’t get on the owners’ nerves. As such, you get to see the view from your living room window, the actual and real layout of the house, the neighbourhood and other such attributes which eventually influence your choice to purchase. And this is naturally transforms to a disadvantage when you buy a subsidized flat.

You see nothing more than the layout of the available units and the total floor space. You don’t get to see the actual thing cuz half the time these are Build-to-Order flats which means at the point of time when you booked it, its construction work is still going on, if not started yet. At the end of the day, if you get a unit with blocked views out from all windows, you just have to live with it. And you have to be living in it for at least 5 years before you sell it and this, I heard, is to prevent people from speculating the prices of these houses like private properties. Moreover, these flats are meant to ease some financial difficulties for the average income families, making it a tad easier owning a house of your own. For resale, you can sell it 2 years later if there was no grant involved and 5 years later for those who took the grants.

Last but not least, if you are applying as single applicant, you have to be at least 35 years of age. If not, you have co-purchase it with one of your parents but this is a different ballgame altogether. For married couples, both applicants just have to be at least 21 years of age which is also the age when you can get married without your parents’ consent.

At this point of time, I cannot think of any more cons of the new flats as we did not enjoy the luxury and luck in buying one. So till then.

However, the obvious pro is the heavily subsidy given by the government and everyone is given 2 chances to buy flats direct from the government. Well, you are given 2 opportunities but that doesn’t mean you will get one. And this is another story which I might want to talk about soon. One of the requirements is that at least 1 out of the 2 applicants is a Singapore citizen and the other has to have attained the PR status.

Next, we move on to the pros and cons of buying your own house at a young age and at a not so young age. This is the findings I get from comparing me & my husband’s situation to that of my just-married colleague who are older than us; or me at least.

When both parties get married and apply for a flat when they are in their 30s, chances are they have already been working for an extensive period of time, which more often than not, is enough to accumulate a substantial amount of money in their CPF ordinary account which helps pay off the down payment of their flat. With this, they practically don’t have any problems, financially, in getting a house lest they dream too big and get something outrageously pricey which is neither all that affordable nor comfortable for their financial abilities.

And at that age they should already be slogging in the society for years, and with an average increment every year, their salary has reach another level and they are able to attain a much generous loan from HDB. Given that, they have a wider selection in buying a house of a higher value which might be justified by the floor space and locality.

With the bulk of the purchase price being offset by their funds in their CPF, they are able to finish paying for the house in a shorter time and be debt-free even paying the same installment amount as us every month.

Simply, all that pros of buying a house at an older age makes the cons of buying it at a younger age. It’s like SWOT analysis. Strengths. Weaknesses. Opportunities. Threats. In business, you competitors’ weaknesses transform into opportunities for you by gaining a competitive edge by deploying your strengths.

It’s not that there is absolutely zero pro in buying a house at a younger age. I mean nothing beats staying under your own roof and it totally sucks to stay under others’ roofs, especially when they relentlessly try to wreck our days. Damn.

I can’t wait to move into our very own humble abode. When the time comes, I will scream Welcome to The Ergüls!

And you see, growing up means dealing with these sh*ts. Nevertheless, life is beautiful!

我的朋友 My Dear Friend - Yi Ling

2008-05-27T08:47:00.003+08:00

朋友今天我陪你走完最后一程
人生教会了我们离别总是伤感
你教会了我们要珍惜眼前人
一生人可喜可悲　可长可短

眼珍珍看你这样离去
你可否知道我有多难过
但安静的想了想
既然都离开了
就好好休息
不要把烦恼和不快乐带过去
一定要安息
我好想念你

2008-05-24T21:42:00.001+08:00

I lost a friend.

And I don't really know how to deal with such a blow.

So I wrote a tribute to her.

Vows

2008-05-21T08:44:00.002+08:00

Just received news of my other cousin's solemnization which is on Sunday. Our was last Sept, followed by my cousin's tomorrow, and the other cousin's on Sunday and my brother's next Jan. The happiest person gotta be our granny ;)

Silent post

2008-05-20T07:01:00.004+08:00

Key thing in your home

2008-05-19T21:29:00.003+08:00

If I think of what will be amongst the first few items to be procured for our house-to-be, I think Tefal, KitchenAid and Plates & Bowls. But seriously nothing can be more important than having a good set of locks. At my ex-landlord's place, 1 key opens 2 doors. For her, it's covenience for herself; for us, it's convenience for burglars. It so happened that one of the evenings when we came back from cycling, we saw the gate wide open & thought she had just came back & maybe saw us and left the door open. But then, we had this creepy feeling cuz this is so unlike her. Playing safe, my husband told me to stand outside the door and let him in first. When he open the main door, he saw our landlord sitting on the swing comfortably. Which means she had gotten back not just recently. I guess we have to tell her about the gate being left wide open. Me & her had a jittery night, for fear that it was someone else's effort. Shortly after it was the day the tenacy contract ended and so we moved, away from the 'convenience' & problematic washing machine.

From an experience like that, I know good locks are one of the priceless security feature to have at home.

Do the little bit that you can

2008-05-16T08:53:00.005+08:00

It has been an extremely bad week or two with the Cyclone in Myanmar that swept away everybody's everything, followed by the 7.8 Earthquake in China.

While you & I think that life is tough here in Singapore, turn on your TV, watch the news and you know you're blessed. We're on a island that is so small, so small we have no natural resources to fall back on if anything happens. We're an island, so small that water surrounds the whole of it. But. We're small enough to be protected by our neighbours should any natural disaster takes place. I'm lucky to be a Singaporean. And I'm grateful.

I know Jet Li's foundation - One Dollar worked together with Red Cross Singapore to collect donations for victims of these 2 natural disasters just this week. And this morning, my old friend - E sent me an email about donation means. I clicked on it, found out that I'm able to access to more than 1 means of donation, login to my Internet Banking account & donated without second thoughts. I'm not trying to boast that I donated but to remind us all that we can all do a very little bit to help.

Jet Li said if you donate just 1 dollar, he wouldn't tell you it's too little. Nor will he find it too much if you donate 1 million dollars. I donated $10. I will not starve with giving away $10. But I know this wee 10 bucks can help those who really need it.

You can do your part. We're all part of the human race, ain't we?

Redcross donation link

Early May Outing

2008-05-15T11:27:00.005+08:00

Its not that I'm lazy to write, or maybe I am... But at times I have this random thought that Heck, it doesn't matter...

*Thanks to my husband for taking all the nice photos for at this outing*

A tragic news, or rather 2

2008-04-29T08:38:00.004+08:00

I'm not trying to be negative here by posting all the tragic news I've came across. But these really affect me and make me ponder.

In Singapore last week, a mini school bus got into an accident with 2 little kids in it. It collided with 2 other cars, causing the death of the boy in the bus. He is only 7 years old and his parents are devastated by this. And I can imagine why. Can you imagine when they thought they will see him at home after work that day, only to find out about this along the way. The other kid - a little girl had to be sent to hospital to be taken care of of her injuries & I'm not sure if she knows that her friend had left because the last I read the news, they didn't dare break the news to her. I cannot imagine what kind of trauma she must be going through.

My thoughts are with the parents of these 2 children.

And this morning I saw on MSN news that there was a train crash in China, causing 70 deaths. I think I need to stop here. It's kinda depressing.

Happy

2008-04-24T13:57:00.001+08:00

I'm on a bubbly mood today! Cuz I'm on leave tomorrow and I have a big task to complete which you will find out on Sun on my foodblog :)

Shots in Bintan

2008-04-18T13:57:00.010+08:00

Here I share with you shots I pretty like that are taken in Bintan, most of which are taken by me. But should it be the work of my husband, he will be credited accordingly ;)

The Ferry Terminal which we departed from
The hundreds of hotel rooms, and this just the East Wing. There is a West wing too
The al fresco seating area in a pub which overlooks the pool
And this day beds overlook the seating area above that overlooks the pool

Beautiful creations of Nature

Beautiful creations of Nature
A candid shotMy husband and the sea

Korean kids playing by the beach
A sneak preview of the pool

One of the Pool

The beer we had while soaking in the pool

Attitudes I detest

2008-04-17T14:50:00.003+08:00

Over lunch I had quite a heated exchange with a few colleagues of mine, not the usual group I hang out with.

The first thing that is really hard to swallow was the intentional effort to once again claim that Turks are Indians. No, I do not loathe Indians, my landlord is one and I’m cordial with her. It’s not about race. I’ve always believe that there are evil people in every race. So, no, I’m not thinking Indians are all bad. There are bad Chinese too. What I’m driving at is there is this irksome colleague who never fails to say, “They are all the same” when my husband was being brought up in the conversation. He thinks that they are the same in terms of skin colour, smell, and maybe the God they worship. No, they are not of the same skin colour and you shouldn’t even be judging people by that. The first time it happened, I kept my cool and in my heart I was thinking, I’ll let you be and when you do this before people with various backgrounds, you’re bound to be the laughing stock of the day.

And as you might have guessed it, he did it again. Yeah, Britney’s song is playing in my mind as I write this. Today, we have with as a female colleague of mine whom I must say is not as narrow-minded as that fool. She broke out in laughter when she heard that cuz she couldn’t believe somebody actually thinks that TURKS ARE INDIANS. So I told him that it’s ok that he did in front of me, but, wait till the Europeans hear that, he will be laughed at. He didn’t quite know how to respond at that but that doesn’t mean he stopped at that. You can be sure he tried time and again. I don’t know why but some people are just so F**KING insensitive and could only care that they were happy while making nonsensical comments.

Another mean-ass asked if I have a fetish for men who are ‘hairy’, that’s their term. What the hell, just because you don’t have any on your chest, does it make it wrong for others to have? I remembered I ever had friends who envied that and I’m not complaining. I like my husband the way he is, I adore it. Shoot me.

So what on earth are these people after? Are they sore that people from other race managed to marry woman from their race and they couldn’t? You will be surprised, I actually know people who are like this. These Chinese men hate Caucasians due to the increased in number of Caucasians men marrying Chinese women. That is total crap. Love is not about being of the same race nor even of speaking the same language. But these fools don’t get that.

Enough of this, we were then talking about the ideal number of kids each person will like to have and the issue with leaving one’s own kids in the hands of your maid.

Couples who wish to have only 1 kid are selfish. It is a different case if you want more but can’t. 2 different intentions so I’m not tarring everybody with the same brush.

People who are pro Only-Child think that they can give the best to their one and only kid. Then I say they are not thinking right.

A very simple scenario: Something tragic, expected or not, happened to the parents and now what happens to THE KID? The kid is left all alone in the world with no one to turn to, no one to share the grief with, and no one to share the burden with. At this, they think that THE KID still has his/her cousins and grandparents and aunties and uncles. But hell, no, aunties and uncles are never gonna be like your own parents. And, no, your cousins are never gonna be like your own siblings.

When such mishap happens, the kid is left all alone in the world with no immediate family, that is until he/she gets married and has a next-of-kin who is the other half.

So, like my lady colleague, we think that if you just wanna have ONE child, you should just not have any. And Fool Number One argued that it is a natural process. No, this is a process that can be prevented if desired with that advanced medical assistance being readily available. And hey, if this is a natural process which will result in an unwanted scenario, you better do all you can to prevent it from happening.

And he only wants to play with the baby when he doesn’t have to feed the baby and change his/her diapers. When such things occur, he will willingly throw these tasks to the maid. Oh, what a lovely father he will be. Unfortunately, he also happens to fall into the category of blocks-of-woods who think that everything can be solved with money. When the kid throws tantrums, offer him/her money. You betcha, he has no kids yet. And the mean-ass has 2 boys so he doesn’t think like this fool does, which is damn comforting I tell you.

I just cannot imagine how people can bear such resemblance to that of robots – to be without the human touch and humane. They are beginning to transform to be like robots – to feel nothing, to be cold-blooded.

You know, I will like to console myself by thinking everybody is different and to each it’s own. But I cannot accept that there are human beings who are like that. If in this time and age, we have people who are like machines, what will it be like in my future kids’ era? I dare not think further.

Beyond The Call...

2008-04-09T10:12:00.004+08:00

How many of us actually follow the direction of their calling? And how many actually did it beyond their calling?

If I do, I will ditch my current office job and get one in a bakery, cake house, cafes. Or better still - hotel restaurant. It's just to pick up skills, tips and tricks for baking. When I save up enough, I will set up my own.

But my calling is one that is in favour of my own passion, not one that does good to the human race out there.

What on earth am I driving at, you might ask.

End Mar, me and the mister went to town to catch a controversial Kurdish movie which was featured in the 21st Singapore International Film Festival, sponsored by Citibank.

As fate will have it, we went into the wrong theater and caught another show which was not at all impressive. And we wanted something that gives us the kick of watching. And we went back for another screening at 7pm. Boy, I was glad we went back.

Beyond The Call.

I know I will not be able to write or do justice to this film with my writing. Please read this short paragraph about this show:
In short, it is about these 3 men who could not care more about themselves as they did the world. One of them is a doctor and spends most of his money on helping the needys. Another needs a root canal treatment for his tooth which will cost a few hundred US Dollars. But he has been procrastinating cuz he asks himself, how many tonnes of rice can that few hundred bucks buy for those who are dying of hunger.

Can you imagine such a selfless attitude still survives in this time and era, in this cruel world that you & I are living in. They are go such an extent to help others that you will not believe. They travel to places I will not go to even if it is a paid holiday.

And if you're thinking this must be just a pure sad film, you're wrong. Humour is definitely not lacking here. In fact, I do think that if these Samaritans do not have just a easy attitude, they probably wouldn't go to this length to help people who are not related to them by any sense, except that we are all humans.

*Stop here if you intend to watch the film. It has another screening today at Republic Polytechnic at 2pm later on*

One of the saddest moment of the film was when Dr James (if I'm not wrong) had a heart attack. And I thought there goes a life which helped so many other make it through tough times. But thankfully, maybe it is good Karma, he survived it.

Another moment was when they went to a slum area in Philippines and saw this baby who is so ill. There is a huge tumour growing in her brain. It's not a nice sight. It's so heart-wrenching to see the mother continuously having to smile and remain strong when life is so damn tough.

Enough spoilers.

This is a film which will make you a better person and a friendly creature to the world. The things we can do might be mediocre but it all adds up to be a big thing. So please do not hesitate to help. Beyond the call's website can be found here.

Between Dumping and Keeping

2008-04-04T09:28:00.003+08:00

Being a person who dislikes to have unnecessary clutter in our bedroom, I seriously do not like to let junk accumulate. I like to throw things away. Things that are not needed, that is. Brochures, catalogues, flyers, dump. Leftover and awful food, dump.

On the other hand, my beloved husband takes an entirely different stand. He likes to KEEP. He keeps a lot of brochures, catalogues and flyers. It can be quite hard to compromise at times. I like to keep such things to a minimum. I like objects to take little floor surface area but it can occupies as high a air area it likes. This is why we bought the laundry basket we have in our room now. Its base is a small little square. However, it is a tall basket. The way it is takes up so little floor space and I hope you now get the drift.

Even with such difference between us, there is one good thing about it. I have always believe that couples being different is a good thing cuz you make up for what the other doesn't have. My husband never likes to throw food away. Be it leftovers, be it awful cooking, it's a No No. If he catches me doing that, I'm bound to get it from him. Yes, this is a virtue not practiced by many. See, this practice of his makes up for the lack in mine.

Y.E.S 933

2008-04-03T09:25:00.002+08:00

Yup, hubby can actually pronounce Jiu-San-San, and it makes me chuckle every single time I hear it. The point the songs played this morning on this station rocks, all my favourite songs, all my favourite singers!

HILARIOUS

2008-04-02T12:17:00.002+08:00

I even whiten our teeth with it haha

Cool Tool

2008-04-02T11:25:00.003+08:00

Mr E discovered this wonderful site which is really cool. It's a cool photo editing tool which works like Photoshop on a web-based platform. Since Photoshop currently doesn't work on my office PC, I managed to do all that I wanna do, and more, with this web-based tool. I'm sold.

You can create texts, shapes, frames, you can edit, colour, curves, levels and so much more. Please please go try out this cool tool - Picnik. Especially if you wanna do some editing or add some effects on your photos!

While walking to my office this morning.

2008-04-02T08:54:00.004+08:00

Date: 2nd April 2008
Time: 08:30

Darn Bad News

2008-04-01T11:07:00.002+08:00

My landlord is planning the sell her house and therefore, will not be able to renew the rental contract with us which will be due really soon. I wanna finish all my flour before we move. Darn. Darn. Darn. Even if we're lucky enough to be balloted by our government to get a new house, it will not be ready anytime by early May. Cuz at the very soonest, you can only get your house keys 2 and a half months later and you need time to renovate, don't you. Darn. Wish us luck.

Some more along the way

2008-03-31T14:07:00.002+08:00

Goethe Institut

2008-03-31T13:56:00.004+08:00

The art pieces at The Goethe Institut in Winsland House.
Us and the art pieces The LibraryOutside the Goethe Institut

Rhythm De Passion a.k.a RDP

2008-03-31T12:21:00.005+08:00

This is a group who plays rhythms outside Takashimaya that are so influential that makes you wanna move your body with their thythms. I'm glad we were walking pass that area and stopped to view their performance. It's inspiring when you witness people doing something they have such a deep passion in. I especially like the girl standing in front of the microphone. She has that pleasure and smile on her face that touches me so much.

Shots taken en route to Winsland House II

2008-03-31T12:15:00.004+08:00

Random Black & White Shots on & from the Train

2008-03-31T12:10:00.003+08:00

Our Neighbourhood

2008-03-31T11:57:00.002+08:00

Fragrances

2008-03-31T11:52:00.001+08:00

Swing + Antique Furniture

2008-03-31T10:50:00.004+08:00

My landlord's. This is one thing that kept attracting my heart to rent a room from this house instead of others. I love swings.

From our window

2008-03-31T10:17:00.005+08:00

We are so addicted to the view from our window through our Olympus lens. We're staying on the highest storey of the block - 20th Storey and there's quite a view out there. Although nothing much changes in the shot, we still do it every night and every day.

The Freehand Artist

2008-03-31T10:11:00.002+08:00

These are the works of this Freelance Artist who can be located outside Orchard Mrt, along the Wisma Atria stretch. He does both English alphabets and Chinese characters. It's a talent. And he is doing good at selling them at S$20 for each piece.

Grocery Shopping

2008-03-31T09:48:00.008+08:00

For more beautiful photos from our shopping trip, see here.

The Skater Boys

2008-03-31T09:08:00.006+08:00

The Balloon Man

2008-03-31T08:45:00.003+08:00

Raw photo from Olympus E500 - The Balloon Man

B's Birthday

2008-03-31T00:48:00.002+08:00

I made a wrong choice on where to go for B's birthday, to read my take on La Pizzaiola click here.

I think we all enjoyed being in a nicer ambience and environment with air conditioning and all. I oredered a Cocoa Mango Blend, which to everyone tasted WEIRD; but to the Erguls, it's a nice match :)

Since I was on medical leave that day, instead of idling/resting at home, I decided to bake B a cake.

New Toy

2008-03-30T23:04:00.001+08:00

This is the new toy I'll be using to take photos of my new recipes! In a while, in a while. I still have lots of outdated photos to share.

M's Birthday Celebration

2008-03-27T10:53:00.004+08:00

Sweet T called me up and arranged with me a surprise for our hubbies. One for M's birthday, another for hubby's successful PR application and also for C tayze's hard work. The plan was for us to arrive at the Birgun's residence at 6.45pm while M is out with C tayze to pick their boys up from school. Unfortunately, I was busy the entire day at home with my failed Grandmother's Chocolate Cake and hubby was stuck at the ICA waiting to collect his pasaport. So we rush non-stop to Tong Kang (an estate in Sengkang) and called as T had reminded me several times to do so when we are at her void deck. We called and dashed upstairs since they are not back yet. Can you believe our luck? When we were at the door, we hear their footsteps and the boys' noises. Oh gosh, we got frantic. T locked the door right after. After we hid our shoes in the shoe cabinet, we hid ourselves in the bathroom with the door closed and locked.

Again, the boys being so smart noticed that there could be somebody in the house as the bathroom door which usually was not closed is now closed and locked. One tried prying open buy hubby will not let. Eventually, T managed to coax the boys away from the kitchen and told us to keep the door open, as the boys are already suspecting, and hide in one corner so that from certain angles, we will not be visible. By then, we were anxious, panting, giggling and feeling so warm being snuggled away in this enclosed area.

Then came the hilarious part. C tayze saw a face through the small gap of the door and came into the toilet getting a big SHOCK. By now, we could not hide anymore. M came in after seeing the stunned expression on his mother's face. He, too, had a pleasant surprise. He walked out ad patted T's back, signaling how cheeky of her to surprise him this way. It was a fun thing for the Ergüls to do.

At the end of it, it pretty much shows that you do not need to have a heap of notes behind you to keep the sparks of a marriage burning. It's really the thought to want to do something special for your better half.

2008-03-24T10:33:00.001+08:00

I so look forward to having an abode of our own. It can be small, it matters not.

The best thing ever for our 6 months Moniversary

2008-03-21T00:00:00.003+08:00

We've received a letter that congratulated us on hubby being assigned his Permanent Residence status today! This is something we have been anticipating for 41/4 months since we put in our application and 6 months since married.

This is the key that unlocks the many things we have always wanted to do. First on the list is to: Apply for a flat, I so badly wanna have a place of our own so I can do it up nicely and bake at my own time and pace. Plan for our wedding. Plan for our trip to Turkey. We also have some business plans. And plan for our first baby.

We might wanna throw a small celebration to thank all the people who had mattered and still do matter to us. BBQ I suppose. Yippee.

B.A.R M.E F.R.O.M D.A.I.S.O

2008-03-17T15:51:00.004+08:00

Isn't that a nice long name?

Take a second look and it will read: Bar Me From Daiso.

Today, I spent 15 minutes in there and spent $10. Ever since I fell in love with cooking and baking, I've been buying and buying tools that are needed or it might not be needed sometimes. Just last friday, Mr Ergul and I went there and spent $10 there too. What I like was the $2 bell for our bike which produces a nice soothing ring. I also bought a decorative piece which will fit perfectly should we decide to open a Turkish Restaurant some day down the road...

When I happily strutted to the Bakeware section and was looking if there are any new cookie cutters in stock, I saw this girl squatting down looking at something I have not seen before - Cake Boxes. I searched high and low and couldn't find the design I fancy. And had to settle for the plain version whose size fits what I need.

There is also a cute little egg basket which is now part of my kitchen decoration tool. And as mentioned it is little. That's why it can hold only a maximum of 6 eggs. It's good enough for me anyway cuz I wanted something that will hold the last few eggs which I usually have a problem storing.

La Signorina

2008-03-14T09:34:00.007+08:00

For the past month or so, I've been busy at work and very tied up with my new part-time commitment. Me & my sometimes-nice-sometimes-irritating sister are now in the midst of setting up our own online store that sells what we love - Pretty Clothes! To get a preview of what we'll be selling, you can check out The Turtlenecks which are perfect for this unexpected cold season & other pretty clothes, skirts and bottoms.

We're now the the final phase of building our simple website with the help of Mr Nice Hubby. We'll notify once done :)

Just take note: family and friends get 10% off the published rate without any minimum purchase whatsoever :)

New Bedsheets

2008-03-10T17:33:00.002+08:00

When I met Evon for lunch sometime last week, we passed by Harvey Norman @ Millenia Walk and I saw these Bedsheets, Pillowcases and Quilt Covers on sale. Grabbed this pair of Retro Home pillowcases for $8. Yes, just $8 for something that has been branded. Then, when we headed down to Metro on the last day of its 20% off post-CNY offer, I got this plain Chocolate Brown bedsheets to match it.

Mr Ergul was impressed with my taste. And thanks to Mum for this part of me.

The 14km ride

2008-03-10T09:56:00.003+08:00

On Friday evening, we cycled, once again, to West Mall which is about 14km to and fro. I must say most of the journey is a friendly ride with a track for cyclist from Choa Chu Kang Interchange to Bukit Batok. The furthest we have rode thus far is 18km to and fro to Causeway Point. Not a very safe route. As a result, I'm not keen in doing that again.

Dinner at our friends'

2008-03-10T09:15:00.003+08:00

Once again, we went to our a family friend's of ours for dinner. It's faraway in Sengkang and I know I'm pampered being born and bred here in Singapore. If you live in Istanbul, Turkey and your family friend is in, say, Kars, it takes a day by train ;)

The Turkish food prepared by the 2 teyzes (aunties) are delicious. Dinner never fails to start with bread and salad and soup. Main course comprises of Turkish rice, fried potato, köfte (beef meatball) and a dish made with a type of white Turkish beans. How does the rice taste so much like Turkish rice without being too buttery? I shall ask someone to translate and ask Ceyhan Teyze how she did it. Ceyhan is the name of a river in Turkey and Inci (teyze) means Pearl.

Looking forward to the next dinner with them cuz these Turks are so warm. This is my first time meeting Inci teyze but it sure doesn't feel so. Right after we met at the door, she pulled me close to her and gave me 2 pecks on my cheeks. This is the Turkish culture. Same from Ceyhan teyze. Inci teyze also insisted we go to her place in Istanbul when we're in town. So blessed. So loved.

2008-03-06T13:34:00.001+08:00

I ran out of eggs to bake last night.

A minute for a snap

2008-03-03T23:11:00.004+08:00

It's been a little long since we took a nice picture together...

So, we took two.

Sunday and Weekdays

2008-03-02T23:00:00.001+08:00

I wish Saturdays and Sundays can be longer and at the same time shortening the weekdays... I so dread for Sunday to end these days...

Loneliness in a Foreign Land

2008-02-26T09:08:00.004+08:00

I've been reading the blog of this online friend of mine who had moved to Germany a month ago for her Turkish fiance. She mentioned being by herself in a foreign land where the people speaks a different language, the people live with a different culture and I can kinda relate to that. If one day, I move to Turkey with Mr Ergul, I might not adapt well to everything there and feel exactly the same way she does now. I must learn Turkish before I can. I must.

The Luxury I Enjoy

2008-02-26T08:38:00.003+08:00

One thing I truly enjoy is sipping from a cup of pipping hot coffee while it's softly drizzling outside. At the same time, with zero disturbance, listen to ballads from the web radio. Thank god I get to enjoy this luxury now.

The office is Oh, so quiet now. I'm in my own world.

the Gentleman and the Not

2008-02-20T08:41:00.002+08:00

The general perception for us is that Western men are more gentleman (I mean much much much more) than Asian guys. (But I've to credit Nic & Gabe for not being typical!) Sadly, this perception has just been proven true by yours truly yesterday. Over here in Singapore, when you offer a man a seat and none for yourself, they will gladly accept the very first offer. (Sometimes, it's just out of courtesy that I offer.) Yesterday, me and my colleagues brought one of our American supplier out for lunch. On the way back to the office, (there were three of us) I offered him the front passenger seat as he is our supplier, you know, this is all part of life. I think i repeated my gesture like 3 times but he insisted on me taking the front passenger seat. Bingo. See.

V Day

2008-02-18T17:18:00.004+08:00

I do not believe in showering over-priced gifts on occasions, especially occasions which are overly commercialized. V Day is a very big one. His last birthday, I gave him a copy of my diary. This V Day, I baked some Heart-Shaped Butter Cookies for him. There was a huge batch, half of which I tried to top it with chocolate icing which failed. Thus, that batch was meant for usual consumption. The last batch, which I think I should leave them alone, looks so cute.

I emptied the glass jar which Lily gave me to me years ago (it's really nice in it's simple design and it comes in soooooo useful, I've been keeping it ever since) She wrapped up pieces of chocolate in aluminum foil and tossed them into this jar. This jar was for me to store snacks away from the eyes of my mum hehe (Thanks for the thoughtfulness!) After moving out, I used it to store sugar which I use for baking. Without any nice jars to hold those cuties, I decided to empty it of the sugar and place those cuties in there without arranging it. I feel this gives it a cozy and homely feel.Before I left the house that 14th of Feb, I brewed tea for him to have it with cookies as he never eats sweet stuffs without tea.

This is something not bought, it's simple and most importantly, it came from my own hands. (I've verified, it's yummy)

If you want to do bake these simple to make Butter Cookies, I'll be posting them very soon in the next post. Check it out then!

My passion will never die

2008-02-18T13:45:00.003+08:00

My wish now is to be able to whip up a good meal anytime anywhere with whatever ingredients is available there and then.

Wish me luck.

Kit Chan

2008-02-13T09:03:00.002+08:00

While Mr Ergul was scanning the channels on Monday night, I was happy to see S-POP's repeated telecast. I always forget to tune in during the first telecast and hate it when I realize it's over cuz I　ｒｅａｌｌｙ like this program．Really really do. The special guest for this week is Kit Chan - the girl with a powerful vocal. It's a pleasure watching the hour long show with her singing every now and then. Every song sung by her that night is a beautiful memory uncovered once again. How nice it was to sing along to all those familiar songs! When she wasn't singing, I explained to the Mister about how she wants to lead a 'normal' life in this current period, moved to US, then back to Singapore and now working as a PR Consultant and stuff. I have to say it's not something everyone is capable of doing. Being a celebrity, you have tons of people pampering and taking care of you. Without much experience doing desk-bound jobs, it's a big step to take and a lot to overcome. Anyway throughout the rest of that night I quietly sang one of her songs which stuck so deeply in my mind. 天冷就回來. I was still humming this song while waiting for the traffic light at Parco, crossing over to the Central Library to turn green. There and then, in the middle lane stopped this black and sleek Volkswagen and in this Beetle Kit Chan was in the driver's seat. I told Mr Ergul, "See the girl in the black car, she is the singer you saw on TV last night." I will say he was also pretty delighted cuz she smiled at us twice knowing that we spotted her. And I told Mr Ergul that being a celebrity is really not easy. Even while you are waiting for the light to change, you have to smile at people who recognizes you to avoid them thinking that you're stuck up...

Anyway I'm delighted

Sleepover

2008-02-11T01:55:00.000+08:00

It was nice meeting up with people whom you can get along with. The Erguls are now at a Chinese-Turkish couple house and have been invited to stay over for the night. The wife is a real straight-forward person who does not bother to waste time trying to please anybody, not even the Mother-In-Law. Yet, they get on real well. Cool. The husband is fine, Mr Ergul gets on better with him. Of course. The kids are lovely - handsome, naughty and all. The Mother-In-Law is a true Turk who is really hospitable like 95% of the Turks are. When I pointed to the Evil Eye hanging behind me, saying "Cok guzel", she told Mr Ergul that she wants to give me this ring of her with the Evil Eye but it will be too big to fit my finger. Nonetheless, she goes into her bedroom and got it for me. Ah, so nice!

We just had supper with the Turkish version of white rice which is YUMMY and kofte. I now feel
too full to sleep. Yet, I'm looking forward to breakfast and lunch tomorrow with this family hehe

2008-01-18T17:11:00.000+08:00

不是逃避是厌倦
关心和无畏的讽刺并非一样
不是活在梦幻中
有争吵有不欢也有担心
不表露不等于没有

我累我烦我难过

够了我说够了

反正一向我说了算

抱歉我依然我行我素

Sam & Jean's Wedding - 12th Nov 2007

2007-12-31T09:24:00.001+08:00

The English Language

2007-09-28T10:40:00.000+08:00

English is the universal language for many of us and it is quite a pain to read chunks of bad English. Since my hubby will remind me not to speak Singlish when I do, I jolly well know that I don't speak perfect English. However, being pretty lucky, the blogs that I constantly read do not leave me feeling puzzled as to WHY is it written the way it is?

Here is an example of a blog entry from xxx which used not-so-fantastic English:

Let talk about some happy issue. Yesterday have a gathering with my classmates. We have our dinner at Muthu's Curry. We try the fish curry, mushroom, chicken and spring roll, I would say is pretty nice, but is a bit costly, it cost $102 for 4 persons. *wink*. When walking to the tunnel of Farrer Road, we realise that there is about 6 exit for race course road, all of us are wonder why do they need so many exit for race course road.

During this 2 weekend, have been going to the threate to watch movie. heehee. The show that I watch is Harry Potter and Transformer. Guess that a lot of Harry Potter fan must be rushing to go and watch the show. I not a harry potter fan but I still went to watch (follow the crowd, heehee). Not to hurt those harry potter fan, but I really don't find the show nice, in term of the story line is quite boring. But I still manage to finish watching the show, it last for 2hr ++. Talk about transformer. Wow. My comment about this show, is excellent. I really enjoy the show very much.

Talk about another good new, received a call from school, they have approve for thing that I want. So happy. Stopping here, as my electric is going to cut off, don't mistake that I didn't pay for the bill, is just that they need to do servicing maintenance. hee.

Blah...

The Union of Our Love was Witnessed by YOU

2007-09-25T08:39:00.000+08:00

Thank you Bri, Yanty, Daisie, Nic, Shirly, Gabe, Eleanor & Evon for taking time out to join us in the celebration of our Solemnization. We really appreciate having friends with us on this very important occasion of ours. A special THANKS to Gabe for his practicality in giving us a red packet instead of gifts. Well, gifts are fine. But guess what, we unwrapped 2 Precious Moments photo albums, which are EXACTLY the same. This made us stare at each other in disbelief & laughed out loud thereafter. On top of that, we got this whole collection of Precious Moments gifts… Kinda boring for us. (I know complaining about your thoughts shouldn't be the way but I'm still stunned at the extensive range of Precious Moments stuffs we received.) Honestly, we prefer "Ang Pows" & I thought I had made very blatant hints about that. Well well... I for one will second the idea of giving "Ang Pow" for such occasion cuz the newly-weds really need that to cover some costs. That aside, I'm glad the food is pleased most of us. But, hey, I didn't have have my fill that day!!

The hiccup that day was the Wedding March came in so late!! Argh!! But then, no point crying over split milk. Other than that, everything is great hehe =D

Once again, thanks for coming!

Rings

2007-09-17T08:42:00.000+08:00

Which crazy couple get their wedding bands only 4 days before the solemnization?! Thank god it takes just 2 days to engrave it and it's ready for collection on Wednesday.

And how many couples get a pair of wedding bands which are only similar. Our rings are not the same. hehe

CRAZY!

2007-08-26T21:36:00.000+08:00

I've been really busy at work these days, what with the extremely thick sales report to compile. From tomorrow till wednesday there is another showcasing of products in campus. The precious one is here at the right time! Yipee! After sleeping once tonight, sleeping another time tomorrow night, I'll see him real soon. The wait this time more bearable cuz after this phase of waiting, our unity will be for life.

2007-08-24T14:34:00.000+08:00

$12 for 11 minutes and 4 seconds. How bloody expensive it is! Cuz i forgot to put 019 before i dial. Damn it! With the same amount and with 019 it can last me 75 minutes!! Pissed off. Really pissed.

2007-08-20T19:14:00.000+08:00

他妈的，才八天却这么多事。

Breathlessness

2007-08-20T10:10:00.000+08:00

I've been feeling breathless for the past week, not because there is someone who makes my heart skips a beat but cuz of my irritating thyroid. Damn. I feel like I'll pass out anytime.

忠于自己

2007-08-19T21:17:00.000+08:00

Do I have to feel sorry to anyone for living my life the way I want? We live only once. This one time that we live, we should do the things we wanna do like there is no tomorrow. I'm not the kind who will spend my live doing the things you want, I have to pursue my own interests, good or bad.

Well, having thyroid and its implications since young moulded me to be what I am now. I'm stubborn, I believe in myself and I stand firm in what I want cuz of what I faced growing up, not cuz of influences from anyone.

I'm sorry that there are people who feel disappointed with my choice, but it's not gonna change my mind. I don't make choices thinking, "Yes, this will make you disappointed, yey!" But if I do, I'm sorry cuz I didn't mean to. You don't see things from my angle, and you don't have to. I understand your concerns but I still stand by my choice.

In an attempt to ensure my future happiness, which is something no one can foresee, you have already made me less happy now. So what makes it so sure that with the conditions you set, I'll definitely be happy in future.

No one dictates how my life should go...

Wilfulness

2007-08-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

I've always resented people who do not appreciate the extremely wonderful other half she has. Not only is she unappreciative, she is willful. She is unreasonable. She is petty. She throws tantrums. She says mean things (which she doesn’t mean). She uses nasty words at him. And the list goes on; we all know what other things it encompasses.

Am I talking about you or self? Self.

I’ve never once thought I’ll be part of the unappreciative clan who deserves to die and rot on her own.

I used to think if you lose the important other half cuz of your own willfulness, you have only yourself to blame. And yes, this still stands, which means I need to get rid of my hot-tempered. (He just wants me to be hot, not hot-tempered, haha) I should stop myself from rattling nasty and hurtful words which I totally don’t mean. I’m already on the way man! Cuz I do know I need to be more appreciative of my precious darling. I don’t wanna be one of those who deserve to die and rot on their own. Noooooo

Another 12 days & the precious one will be moving here. I’m on cloud nine and these clouds that I’m on are so high up in the sky, it’s over the moon. I’m over the moon.

(Stop throwing tantrums, stop hurting him.)

How've you been?

2007-08-12T17:39:00.000+08:00

Try checking out blogs of people whom you've lost contact with. You'll be amazed by the changes in their life all these while.

I used to read the blog of this aussie asian girl who is on Jen's link. Back then she was still a student, dating a handsome Spanish boyfriend. Now, they've gotten married and just gave birth to a baby girl.

There is another ex-colleague of mine from my intership days. She is also married with a baby girl now. Her hubby is a doctor, that is like wah good life la. I feel happy for her. She also mentioned she just attended my other ex-colleague's wedding. Seems like many people has since gotten married, starting their married lives =D

The Appropriate Office Attitude

2007-08-08T16:27:00.000+08:00

So so so. The company is having a Family Day at the boss' place which is rumoured to be humongous, huge to the extent that the Finance Manager said, "You must go cuz you'll never see another house like his." So how BIG are we talking about exactly? A swimming that's not small that comes with changing rooms. A movie theatre that can seat 50+ pax. BBQ area at the basement. 4 storeys in all inclusive of the basement. 9 bedrooms (for one man - divorced, and 2 sons are studying overseas). Sauna. There are like 2 or 3 maids and a gardener. He just got a new Mercedes. The company building, which has 6 storeys plus the basement which is used as a carpark, belongs to him. Hmmmm. Girls, quick, go make his son fall for you.

I shall take some pictures later!

Oh yeah, I've digressed too much. So for those who are participating in this event gets to knock off at 3pm to get ready for the bbq. I left on the dot and it seems wrong!! I think I'm the first to leave and people saw me leaving which isn't good! Now they must be thinking, wah, she must be very free, can leave so early ah. But heck it, you can't expect me to walk back into the office with my bag just because everyone else is still deep in their pile of shitwork. I left on time. So I guess it's fine =D

And I saw Kit Chan while we were having lunch at Bukit Timak Hawker this afternoon. Her skin looks flawless. She had a huge pair of shades on but still you can tell it's her. Her beau was with her too. Well, how do I know that guy is her beau? They were holding hands, see, this is why it is important you hold hands. hehehe

L-O-V-E

2007-08-07T23:55:00.000+08:00

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you

LOVE. Well, it's wonderful, yet it's unpredictable. Couples whom you & me thought will end up getting married.. didn't quite. For every couple to look blissful in the eyes of "outsiders" is the norm. Yet no one really knows what's really going on behind the scenes - the fights, the tears, the hurt and the list goes on. If you didn't make it ths time, it doesn't mean you'll never make it. I insist on believing that there is always someone for everyone. And this is just how stubborn I am. (See, nic got attached (again). Congrats!) Go for the things you want for would you rather regret not trying or regret having tried but failed? Go for it & enjoy it, like I did.

Embarrassed

2007-07-27T16:12:00.000+08:00

It took me approximately 5 minutes to realize what I came up with below is inappropriate. And I was still wondering why my colleague (a man) gave me that look. muhaha

Dropping the bomb...

2007-07-26T20:15:00.000+08:00

I have not stuttered in a long time...

2007-07-24T21:41:00.000+08:00

Another unsightly encounter. On the way home today I saw this man with his fly open and u can imagine what was hanging out from the open fly. It's not like my eyes search for "objects" like this all the time, believe it or not, I just so happen to see it. A girl can't be this h-o-r-n-y, right?? He was standing in a corridor which not many people make use of. Don't ask me what he is he doing, cuz I have absolutely no idea. haha
-edited-
And now I wonder, where is his brief?? Why is his little brother not dressed??!!

2007-07-17T23:52:00.000+08:00

Damn it! Carrie did not end up with Aidan. Aidan ended up with another designer whose face was not showed. Well, now there is Berger which is not too bad.

I always find it very sexy when a woman covers her man's mouth when he is about to say mean things to himself.

2007-07-14T00:59:00.000+08:00

Woah, one last attempt fell through. Disappointed. Byebye Manila.

-After all the pain and sorrow-
-I know there will be rainbow-

Employed

2007-07-13T22:59:00.001+08:00

Work commences 23rd July. One last week of freedom which I really wanna spend in Manila.

2007-07-12T22:26:00.000+08:00

All I want is a free Tiger Airways return SIN - MNL ticket that departs on the 15th July and arrives back here on the 22nd July. Girls, I know we're going out on that day. If my dream comes true, please go without me.

Sex and the City

2007-07-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

I'm now finishing Season 4 of the amazing series - Sex and the City. And I dread completing the full 6 seasons. This is the same feeling I get when I'm down to the last few pages of any Nicholas Sparks' novel.

I used to admire Mr Big, I mean I've always like big men, tall and all. That and his charm. But as his character slowly evolves over the few seasons, I started to detest him. It happened when he didn't wanna commit to Carrie yet married Natasha shortly after the breakup. What's worse was when he together with Carrie had an affair while he was married and the latter was attached to Aidan. That was what I could not swallow. This is so typical of men, what a bastard. I hated his attitude too, too wishy-washy, not manly enough like how he used to be.

While I dislike Mr Big, my fondness for Aidan bourgeoned. He is another big man. I first came across John Corbett (a.k.a Aidan) when I was watching 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' and I drooled (not literally) at the sight of his big build. Oo-la-la. Builds like his and Chris Noth (a.k.a Mr Big) has always given me the impression that they make you feel so safe while you are with them, especially when you're in their arms. And ya, this is from way back, like when I was a teenager.

I felt crushed for him when Carrie broke the news that she had cheated on him with that Big bastard. And when she finally realized how much she missed and wanted him back, plucked up enough courage to ask for a patch, he shouted, "You broke my heart". Together with that, he let out what has been in his system for so long. Awww, poor man.

Well well, Aidan decided to give them both another chance which is brilliant. Then there was this part when Carrie cried to him to stop punishing her for her previous mistake That part was pretty touching too. And yes, I like Aidan!

-Sex and the City-

2007-07-05T20:25:00.000+08:00

This was being translated by some kind-hearted spirits from Turkish into English. Nice.

... be very careful when you cause a woman to cry, because God counts her tears!
A woman was created from a man's rib, not from his leg, if it had been so she would have been crushed; she wasn't created from his head either so that she won't be superior. But she was created from his chest so she would be equal;... a little beneath the arm, so that she would be protected... from the heart level so that she would be LOVED...

Interviews...

2007-07-05T18:38:00.000+08:00

After sending out my resume for several job openings, I hope I get employed soon (To date, I've been jobless for a month and a day, argh). I got a call today while I was having lunch with Lia (holy shit, forgot to take photos), I got a call from this lady who asked me a question which took me by surprise as I have never encountered anything similar before. She literally started the interview over the phone.

Lady: So you have just graduated from MIS?
Me: Yes
Lady: You majored in Marketing and Advertising?
Me: Yep
Lady: So how many Ps are there in Marketing now?
(Me racking my brain)
Lady: 5 or 6 Ps?
Me: From what I know, there are 8 Ps
Lady: Oh, there are eight? What are the eight?
Me who digged my own grave: The basic 4 Ps are Product, Price, Promotion and Placing. The other 4 Ps are Production and Quality and the rest I can't really remember.
Lady: Ah, we can discuss about this tomorrow.
Me: Sure sure (OS: damn it)

And this is part of the agenda for my preparation for tomorrow's interview. God knows what other questions she will stun

me with in vain of measuring how up to it I am for the job. I need luck cuz I need a job .

2007-06-27T00:32:00.001+08:00

Another trip made to Marche to satisfy my craving for rosti hehe. Thanks Bri for accomodating!!

2007-06-25T00:22:00.000+08:00

Even when the going gets tough, you gotta believe in it and not wave the white flag. Hang in there.